I can't be feeling like this again.
Or is this something different?
Perhaps with time, I'll see.
But how much time?
How long does it take until you know?
Why shouldn't I let my feelings show?
I know why.
Because I've been wrong.
I've been hurt before.
I've allowed myself to love
And it's left me battered, rendered and torn.
So I shut down.
I rebuilt my walls.
I picked up the pieces of my rendered heart
And encased it in stone.
I was protected
I was safe
No one was ever going to get in
That was the decision I had made.
But she got in.
How did she get in?
Was it her beautiful smile?
Her wonderfully eclectic personality?
Was it our mutual love of geekdom.
Or our similar parallels in life?
Was it the feel of her body
As she quivers under my touch?
Was it the taste of her mouth against mine
When I held her to me tight
Was it the nights of passion we've shared?
Was it the way she moans my name?
Was it the way she stares into my soul
Every time I took her there?
Was it our daydreams of adventure?
To just pack up and go.
To just leave the world behind
Where it would just be us two.
I don't know. But, she's here.
She's scaled the walls and braved the traps
She found her way to my heart of stone
And found a way to make it beat again
Perhaps it's also because
I've done the same with her.
She was sealed off too
And the hurt was nearer for her,
I got in too
So here we are
What do we do now?
How do we proceed?
I'm scared
I'm scared of being hurt again
I'm scared of loving
I'm scared of being loved
And so is she
We have that in common as well.
We're scared of what this means
We're scared of what this is.
Is this real?
Is this just NRE?
Is this a beautiful summer fantasy
That will dispell in Fall's chill?
I don't know.
At this very moment
All I know is this
I ache for her. I desire her
I miss her.
Gods help me
I think I'm falling.
And I'm not sure if I want to catch myself.
